Perhaps because it is the only way Portfolio magazine can persuade anyone to even look at their rambling, ad infested prattle that passes for financial journalism, I have somehow been sentenced to a term on their mailing list. The result? Various individuals at Portfolio repeatedly demonstrate their audacity by emailing me 1.5 megabyte .pdf files of various uninteresting (or oddly leftist) articles from their publication. My repeated requests to end the sending of same have resulted in exactly nothing.
Heretofore I have generally ignored Portfolio, excepting one article after the unveiling of the publication. I realize now that this has misaligned incentives for the magazine, which has apparently taken my lack of interest as license to "win me back" as a fan (hard to win back what you never possessed, but still). Therefore, as of today, I will begin to review the writing on Portfolio. Whenever I encounter a well written, financially astute piece, I will simply ignore it. Whenever, however, I come across a piece that leaves an opening for stinging commentary, I will bring the full weight of what literary prowess I possess to bear with a particular emphasis on the way each piece reflects a total lack of talent at every level throughout the publication.
Who do readers have to thank for this distraction? The author of the latest Portfolio spam that clogged my in-box, Ms. Emily Weber. Please feel free to deliver your opinion on the topic to Ms. Weber. Fortunately, she has provided her contact information in the latest spam:
The irritated Going Private reader may find my email to Ms. Webber instructive:
----- Forwarded message from Equity Private <firstname.lastname@example.org> -----
Dear Ms. Webber:
For months now, I have attempted to ignore the inane, poorly
written, badly researched and shallowly conceived print which
purports to pass for "writing" in your publication "Portfolio."
Unfortunately, your repeated, unsolicited, uninteresting and
uninspiring emails (typically with large .pdf attachments designed
to clog my inbox) have not permitted me to continue ignoring your
work in perpetuity. Accordingly, and while I am not typically a
vindictive person, I have elected to take a more serious interest
in the "work" of your publication. (See my latest weblog entry:
Unfortunately for Portfolio, my appraisal of that work is almost
universally negative. It is my intention, therefore, to publish my
most stinging and biting commentary for my 1200 or so regular
readers in the financial community whenever I am reminded of your
publication (for instance, when I receive unsolicited email from
you or any other associate of Conde Nast) until I lose interest.
Of course, the only way I will eventually lose interest is if I
stop receiving unsolicited email from you. I leave it to you to
decide how to handle this most recent development.
On Mon, 17 Sep 2007 09:16:49 -0500 Emily Weber
>FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
>SEPTEMBER 17, 2007
>THE BANANA WAR
>[Blah Blah Blah]