Going Private

Robbed, Again

The always yummy Abnormal Returns points out that I have, once again, been robbed.  This time, however, Time (in partnership with CNN) stole my piece (poorly) after two others.  Late to the game, folks.  Additionally, this Justin Fox quote, taken from the Time piece, wins Going Private's 2007 Maxwell Smart Prize (awarded to the financial journalist issuing the most sweeping generalizations, possessed of the weakest grasp of finance and most the deficient command of economics).  I'm confident awarding it this early in the year because it is pretty clear, even at this early date, that no one is going to get more qualified for the honor than this:

It does nicely underscore the basic truth of the private equity business, which is that without public markets on which to buy and sell companies, it couldn't exist.

Congratulations, Mr. Fox.  The prize (a well worn and pungent shoe, owned by a man whose religious convictions forbade him to own socks and which the recipient is expected to use like a phone) can be accepted in London or forwarded by post provided the recipient compensates Going Private for shipping.

Going Private Awards

Going Private is pleased to announce the First Annual Going Private Awards.  Readers are invited to submit nominations for the First Annual Going Private Awards, intended to recognize the contributions of individuals and organizations to financial and economic ignorance, the elimination of market economies and the destruction of economic efficiency everywhere.  This year's awards include:

The Enron M&A Prize
The prize is an attractive Enron stock certificate suitable for framing.  Presented to the management team responsible for the merger, acquisition, sale or divestiture causing the most extensive financial damage to equity or bond holders.

The Daniel Loeb "Chief Value Destroyer" Award
The Daniel Loeb "Chief Value Destroyer" Award is an autographed copy of Third Point's letter to Salton Inc.  (Note: Celebrity autographs may be impersonated).  Presented to the senior executive most responsible for the destruction of shareholder value.

The Maxwell Smart Prize for Mediocrity in Financial Journalism
The Maxwell Smart Prize for Mediocrity in Financial Journalism is a well worn and pungent shoe, owned by a man whose religious convictions forbade him socks and which the recipient is expected to use like a phone.  Presented to the financial journalist issuing the most sweeping generalizations, possessed of the weakest grasp of finance and most the deficient command of economics.  (Note: As the prize has already been awarded to Justin Fox of Time, only submissions for "runner up" will be accepted).

The Thai Medal
This beautiful, forty eight pound brass and pewter medallion is ribboned for display around the neck of the recipient.  Awarded to the individual or organization most responsible for fostering regulatory or legislative initiatives leading to the frustration of efficient markets.

Nominations should include the award or prize sought, a brief description of the nominee's qualifications and any reference material the committee may find useful in evaluating the nominee's contributions.  Forward all materials to: equityprivate@hushmail.com by August 1, 2007.